09.03.09: found this draft. i intended posting it whenever i wrote it, so here it is sher.
first off, the here and now. as usual, i'm a mad mix of feelings.
in terms of the wonderful big circle i've made of friends from the local gigs, i'm feeling a bit out of the loop. partly as i haven't seen a lot of them in a while, partly because today i heard of parties i hadn't been told about, which is a bit weird. i miss lots of people. i think i'm meeting up with Ellie on Sunday, which will be lovely. Katie rang me the other day and we loosely arranged to meet next week. Julia...well, i always want to hang with her but we're equally busy and usually end up meeting anyways at a gig or party and having the chats, which are the best thing ever cos i never feel like our friendship has suffered from not seeing one another. i hope to fuck that gig or party happens soon! i miss her being in my life on a regular basis - we were in college together last year and the laugh was had every single day, it was great. Pulse has been great in terms of making new friends but i have to admit it does make me sad that i haven't seen as much of my "gig friends" as i'd like. i only use that term because of where and how i met just about all of them. i do hope 2009 will see a return to the laugh being had with those friends, because for the past three-ish years of my life they've been the difference between me feeling completely alone and me feeling completely happy and surrounded by great people.
but there's good feelings in my mad mix, of course there is.
back to here and now. if i look to my left, the tinsel on my well-wilted christmas tree glitters when the scene changes on the television. if i look to my right, Oscar's snuggled up amongst the cushions, paws akimbo.Scrubs is on and i'm texting a friend, those late-night cosy texts are the best thing ever.
anyways, in terms of the past year (i know im rambling but it's only polite to keep going back to the original point of the post), i guess my life perked up massively in the past while which is sweet. things just totally take you by surprise sometimes. in January, a friendship was brought to a pretty abrupt end under the title of a "break", which i quickly saw through. needless to say i am completely over it now but the whole thing messed me up a bit. it wasn't until the end of March that i met someone who got me over it completely. this someone was and still is one of the most incredible and fascinating people i've ever met, and though the situation with them rose and then fell and then full-on ended in an epic misunderstanding, they will always be an amazing human being to me.
i'm still getting used to the novelty of actually owning a laptop - i combined the monies my parents gave me for christmas with my savings and got a little white MacBook. it's brilliant, i can't wait to get Pro Tools up on it and set aside time to do remixes. yay.
hahaha. rambling is a bit like mixing a song. you just....work away at it until you think it sounds good, then you go back to it ages later and think "what the.....". haha. life's good.
